Friday, July 15, 2011

What an amazing day!

Anyone who has been reading my blog knows that I am in counseling for my panic disorder & depression. On Tuesday I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist. He gave me prescriptions for Zoloft & Ambien. Zoloft will help treat the depression & social anxiety issues & Ambien is a sleeping pill. I only filled the script for Zoloft, because -DAMN!- meds are expensive without insurance.

I am not too thrilled to be taking a pill every day in hopes that it will make me feel better, but I am desperate to try anything. I have only a few months until Xander's birthday, then Christmas & Jackie's birthday. I really want to get a job so I can spoil these kids. I honestly feel that if there is a chance Zoloft will help, I'm going to take it.

Anyway, I started the Zoloft yesterday. I followed the instructions on the bottle instead of the instructions the doctor had written on a paper for me to bring home. I was supposed to take 25 mgs for the first few doses, and increase it over 2 weeks, until I got up to 100 mgs, apparently. I ended up taking the full 100 mgs yesterday. I was so tired! It literally knocked me out. I was in bed by 11 and woke up at 5:30 today, feeling very rested & better than I have in a while. I guess all I needed was a good nights sleep!

So, as I said, I woke up at 5:30 this morning & I felt like I could take on the world. I used my Yoga DVD & while it was more challenging than I thought it would be, I loved it! I think I might want to start doing Yoga on a regular basis. I picked up a bunch of DVD's from the library yesterday, and most of them were Yoga related. I am going to pick my 2 favorites and purchase them.

After using that DVD, I used one of my Jillian Michaels DVD's. It's now my favorite, I like it even more than 30DS! 30DS is a great workout, but I got bored with it. I am glad that I now have 15 fitness DVD's to choose from! Plus an additional 7 from the library at the moment.

So, after all that, I decided to use the recumbent bike for a while. I burned 400 calories. It took a bit longer than usual because I had to keep my pace slow so I wouldn't wake anyone else up. The bike is a bit loud.

I spent the rest of the morning with the kids, just lounging around. I popped in a new movie my father got the kids and decided to use the Nordic Track for a bit. In 45 minutes, I burned 850 calories! I am no longer counting miles, but calories instead. I don't know how much I burn from my DVD's, so I am hoping to burn at least 1000 calories a day split between the 2 machines.

I've been much better about working out, let's hope the trend continues. I really loved waking up early & getting most of the exercise done before anyone was awake! It was so much more relaxing than trying to work out with the kids running around.

I am a bit worried about weight gain with Zoloft. When I was a teenager & I took it, I lost a lot of weight. I am reading up on the drug & it appears that while it is not "known" to cause weight gain, it can happen. Oh boy. I guess if I am happier, that's all that matters. I really believe that if the Zoloft can stabilize my mood & allow me to function a bit more normally in social situations, that I will lose weight. I will be able to have a job, and feel better about myself all around. We'll see though. If anyone has any experience with Zoloft, I would love to hear what it did for you!


  1. Congrats. In my late 20s, 20 years ago, I had panic disorder. I did 6 months on an antidepressant and got the skills for cognitive behavioral help/ rational/emotive counseling and I was cured within a few months time'. It is a completely curable thing within 12 weeks and no one should have to suffer. I've sponsored many dozens of people through recovery with and without the use of meds and they are all happily recovered. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, I had to stop and look at how I interpret the world and get logical about it instead of letting my imagination run wild and scare the crap out of me. Once you get the skills, you seriously can do anything life gives you. Hey, and good luck on the exercise. I doubt you'll gain weight on that one. The one I took, I gained 35 pounds in six months, but it was one of the older meds in the early 90s.

  2. I would really love to talk to you a bit about anxiety sometime if you don't mind. You keep mentioning stuff that my counselor has said as well, and it helps to hear the same thing from multiple people. Proves I can believe it!

    I am really hoping to be able to get through this. I am just nervous because we're on a timeline here, not just for birthdays and Christmas, but for getting a new apartment in March. I have a long way to go between now and then.

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