Beliefs vs. Thoughts.

"One of the most important things to know about the mind and reality is the difference between thoughts and beliefs. The difference between a thought and a belief is that you may have thousands of thoughts going through your mind but none of them have any power except those that are beliefs. A belief is a thought that you make real, or accept as true. Choosing to make a thought real or not is a decision under the very power of the will.

It is important to understand that is not our thinking that creates our circumstances, but the emotion that is attached to our thoughts. Thoughts become things but not all thoughts become things, only the thoughts that are accompanied with strong feelings and emotion.

Thought is first a conscious suggestion, then it becomes a subconscious memory, working day and night. This is what operates the law of attraction, because the laws of attraction and repulsion are entirely subconscious. Thoughts may be conscious to start with, but they are subconscious as soon as they are set in motion. Now suppose I did not say I was poor, but came into the world with an unconscious thought of poverty. So long as that thought operated, I would be poor. I might not have understood the Law, but it would have been working all the time.

The subconscious mind is the seat of emotion and the storehouse of memory, therefore memory is tied to emotion. Emotion is energy in motion. The more emotion a thought has, the more it is able to move things. Weak thoughts have little emotion. Strong thoughts have much emotion."

There are 4 questions my counselor asked me to answer as many times as I could and as honestly as I could, and here they are.

How Do I Feel About Myself?

I am a failure. I am never good enough. I let everyone down. I am worthless. I'm a bitch. I am ugly and I will always be ugly.

How Do I Feel About Others?

I can't trust anyone. Friends will always turn their back. Everyone is out for their own best interest. I am just a stepping stone to something better. No one believes me so why should I believe them? Everyone lies to me.

How Do I Feel About the Future?

Bleak. Scared. Worried. 

What is Your Slogan or Motto for Life?

"Life is no way to treat an animal." The good news is, it ends eventually.

This is a pretty sad, depressing list. But every answer is true. I answered each question with the first few things that popped into my head. I guess I am a really depressed person. I know this sounds weird, but I'm a really happy person trapped inside the shell of a super depressed person. I WANT nothing more than to be genuinely happy. I just don't feel like I deserve it. And, I hate to say it, but I believe that until I lose the weight, no one will ever love me & I will never be happy. This exercise could help me in a lot of ways, both emotionally and physically, if I let it.

I'm supposed to break some of my answers down into more rational terms. Words like everyone/everybody/always/never are irrational.

How Do I Feel About Myself?

- I am a failure.
I've never tried to do much with my life because I am so scared of failing. But if I never try, I will never accomplish anything. I need to try.
- I am never good enough.
I have messed up here and there, but for the most part, I come through for my family & friends. 
- I let everyone down.
I don't know why I wrote this... I just feel so worthless sometimes because I had so much potential and it was squandered. I can recover from this though, I know I can. 
- I am worthless. 
:(
- I'm a bitch.
I think that I feel so awful about not meeting my potential that I let it ruin my day, year, whatever. I take my anger towards myself out on others. 
-I am ugly and I will always be ugly.
:(

How Do I Feel About Others?

- I can't trust anyone. 

I have trouble trusting most people, but that doesn't mean that no one deserves to be trusted. Not everyone is out to get me or hurt me. 

- Friends will always turn their back. 

Just because this was true in high school, it doesn't mean it's true now. Surprisingly, I've made peace with almost everyone from high school. It's time to let this go. 

- Everyone is out for their own best interest. 

This is human nature, and I really truly do believe it, but it's not something I should hold against anyone.

- I am just a stepping stone to something better. 

I believe that people don't usually like me, that they are just trying to get what they want/need from me, and that's it. Who knows if it's really true... I know I am not trying to use everyone I meet, so my guess is that I'm just a bit paranoid due to some pretty horrible prior experiences.

- No one believes me so why should I believe them? Everyone lies to me. 

Not everyone is lying 100% of the time. I need to be more trusting. Innocent until proven guilty, instead of guilty until proven guilty. If I am looking for faults, I will find them. If I am searching for the good, I will see it.

How Do I Feel About the Future?

- Bleak. Scared. Worried. 
I can change this if I TRY.

What is Your Slogan or Motto for Life?

- "Life is no way to treat an animal."- Kurt Vonnegut
I really wonder sometimes if this world is worth all the hassle and pain it puts us through. But are we making our lives miserable all on our own, or are we letting a bad situation win? There is good in EVERYTHING, you just need to want to see it.
- Life: The good news is, it ends eventually.
:( I don't even have words for this one. 

I am glad I found this list online and was able to recreate the exercise my counselor wanted me to do. I wish I had the entire worksheet & all of the additional stuff she asked me to do, but this is a good baseline. I now have a better idea of what I truly believe, and I can now try and escape this horrible mindset. 

Attitude is everything.

I suggest everyone sit down and answer these questions about themselves, you never know what might come up....